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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28810167">Jaken, Au Pair Extraordinaire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flashyfirebird/pseuds/Flashyfirebird'>Flashyfirebird</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, 半妖の夜叉姫 | Hanyou no Yashahime | Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Gen, Humor, Silly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:40:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>600</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28810167</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flashyfirebird/pseuds/Flashyfirebird</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jaken is the most competent person in the feudal era, but that isn’t saying much. Oneshot. Crack. Contains spoilers for Yashahime Episode 15.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Jaken, Au Pair Extraordinaire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: Total crack, but I couldn’t resist. Contains serious spoilers for Yashahime Episode 15. And I don’t hate Rin, I swear--I’m sure she was a very competent mom--it was just funnier to write her this way.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jaken was having a very rough month.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Make that year.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Make that decade. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If it wasn’t bad enough that he was having to constantly cook enough food to feed a small village and send half that food into the black pearl every day, </span>
  <span>and</span>
  <span> make sure the pearl’s inhabitants didn’t escape, not to mention the constant babysitting duties for two young toddlers who were at an age where they liked to put literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything poisonous</span>
  </em>
  <span> into their mouths, Ayame had just sent him a polite-but-firm letter asking him to send her, immediately and without delay, a piece of Inuyasha’s fire rat robe, as baby Moroha had recently developed an unfortunate tendency to crawl into fire pits.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So... what, the wolf lady wants me to go into the pearl, strip Inuyasha of his clothes, and pop out, without Inuyasha killing me and escaping and wreaking general havoc? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaken considered his options. None of them looked good. Sending stuff </span>
  <em>
    <span>into</span>
  </em>
  <span> the pearl was just fine, but to take something </span>
  <em>
    <span>out</span>
  </em>
  <span> of the pearl…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, don’t eat that!” he squawked, just in time to stop toddler Towa from shoving a huge amanita mushroom into her mouth. She pouted at him and broke down into tears. Jaken hurried over and patted her on the back. “Oh dear,” he said. ‘Don’t cry. But you can’t eat that mushroom!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would we do without you, Jaken?” Rin said fondly. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Die, probably</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Am I the only competent being in a fifty mile radius?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Many days, it felt that way. Setsuna currently had a rat in her fist--how she had caught it he had no idea--and she was about to shove in her mouth. “No sweetie,” Rin cooed.”No eating the big rat. That’s not very nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I wanna eat the rat!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It might have rabies!” Jaken grabbed the rat by the tail and hurled it away. “For Kami’s sake, show some sense!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the very least, the sight of Setsuna about to eat a rat had given Jaken an idea. It was a better idea than diving into the pearl and trying to strip Inuyasha. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Way </span>
  </em>
  <span>better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know where fire rats live?” he asked Rin. She stared at him blankly. “Never mind. I’m pretty sure I can find some. If I prep a week’s worth of meals, can you pass two of them into the black pearl every day, breakfast, lunch and dinner, on the clock? And feed Setsuna and Towa as well. And feed yourself. And maybe keep the toddlers locked in a padded room for the next couple days with literally nothing poisonous that they might be able to shove into their mouths. And don’t leave the house. And </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>don’t leave the barrier. Can you do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Jaken,” Rin said, smiling. “I think we can manage that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try not to be long,” said Jaken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-v-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three days later, Jaken was strolling back, having successfully captured and skinned three fire rats, woven their hair into cloth, and delivered a brand new fire rat costume to Moroha and Ayame. He had always prided himself on his skills with a needle. (After all, who do you think kept Sesshomaru’s robes in such good condition? Certainly not Sesshomaru himself!)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaken was in such a good mood, he was practically humming to himself as he walked. But that good mood died the moment he reached the forest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something was seriously wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For one thing, he was pretty sure there had once been a barrier here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For another, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>certain </span>
  </em>
  <span>the trees hadn’t been on fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well... shit,” Jaken said. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you enjoyed, please consider leaving comments or kudos! Feedback really makes my day :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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